essay!!

long time never write an essay until my bf sis asked me to help her to correct her grammar mistakes in her essay!! Stunted for a few minutes facing the essay... i dont know how to start!!!
should i mark her essay like how i mark my students? or...
so i decide to simply help her. hahaha!!!

this is her original version...

How technology had changed our world

I thought people can live without technology. The reason I have this type of thinking is because before 20^th century, when technology was still not that advanced, the people were living satisfied lives. They do not need communication technology such as computers. But, in the 21^st century, technology is advanced and almost everyone has a computer. Nowadays, even a 5 year old child knows how to use computer. There are three ways communication technology has changed our world.

With a computer, we can access to the Internet. The Internet is a cyber-space, to exchange data with any other connected computer. Internet serves as a useful tool for communication because we can communicate with a person sitting thousands of miles away through instant messaging (MSN) for conversations by chatting or using webcam. Not only that, we can staying in touch by using electronic mail (E-mail), the most popular of the Internet services, to attach photos, music files, and other document together with the message. Besides communication, we can also use the Internet to search for information. The information we want can be easily found within a short period. In addition, the Internet can use for online payments, online shopping, and reading newspapers online, it not only convenient, but also save time. Furthermore, we can earn money through the Internet by running online business, at the same time, we can save cost of owning a shop.

Secondly, computer can keep a huge amount of information and data. The storage for a computer is very big, therefore, we can save our works in the computer. Saving our works in the computer can decrease the usage of papers and so, can prevent from over cutting down the trees. Furthermore, we can download music, videos, songs, and games to computer, it is much more easier as compared to using DVD or CD to watch. In addition, we can upload photos from camera and hand phone to the computer, so we can view the photos in a bigger screen and also delete away the images that uploaded to computer as the memory for camera and hand phone is not as big as computer.

Next, computer helps us be more productive and creative. We can use a word processor such as Microsoft Word to create a term paper. When we realize there are mistakes in our work, we can always edit and save up the corrected work, unlike doing works by writing, whenever there is a mistake in our work, after we corrected it will look untidy. Troublesome are there to complete our tasks, and there is chances where our paperwork might lost during the way to the office. Besides that, we can use the applications such as photo editing, 3D rendering, and desktop publishing for multimedia and graphics to make our project more interesting. In addition, the compact type of computer, which is known as laptop, can be brought anywhere and it is very convenient, for business purpose, laptop can be use to present your works in PowerPoint slides form during meeting.

Communication technology plays an important role in today’s world, we need computer to surf Internet, save data, and increase productivity of work. Without computer, our life will become tougher and works cannot be done on time. In conclusion, computer has changed our world in many aspects and so, computers are our future.

After i read her work, i decide to help her change a bit!!!

How technology had changed our world

The world had changed. Nowadays, I believe that people around the world had been exposed to technology. No doubt, Computer is one of the most influential technologies that have taken over our society. People over the globe can now work and communicate together in ways that were never before possible in history. Information technology such as e-mail, instant messaging, the Internet, and video conferencing has completely changed the way humans communicate over time and space. Computers grew rapidly and widely used through out the world. Therefore, their impact can be classified into three categories; communication, education and entertainment.

Firstly, a computer can access to the Internet. Internet is a cyber-space, and it help to bring people closer together and facilitate contacts between them. For example, we can communicate with a person sitting thousands miles away from us through instant messaging (MSN). If you have a webcam, you can even see their faces clearly. Not only that, we can stay in touch by using electronic mail (E-mail). We can easily access to e-mail almost everywhere using either personal computer at home or public one. Moreover, you can easily to upload photos, download music files, and other document together with the message if you want to make your message clearer.

Besides communication, education was impacted by computers as well. Computers help out students in a lot of today's projects and essays. We as a student can search information easily by looking in an electronic encyclopedia or they could look up their topic on the internet. We can also type our essays and reports on what's called Microsoft -processing program. This program allows you to type anything out from a school essay to business papers. You can make your paper look very neat by adding images and neat looking text to impress your teacher. It helps to keep a huge amount of information and data too. The storage capacity for a computer is very big; therefore, we can save our works in the computer. Saving our works in the computer can decrease the usage of papers and so, can prevent from over cutting down the trees. In addition, we also can upload photos from camera and hand phone to the computer, so we can view the photos in a bigger screen and also delete away the images that uploaded to computer as the memory for camera and hand phone is not as big as computer.

Another area computers impacted on is the entertainment area. Nowadays, in this sophisticated era, people out there like science fiction or action movies, especially the ones with the neat looking effects. Well, those graphics were mostly made by computers. Most of the movies today use computer graphics to make things more realistic but not real. For example the coming Pixar movie Toy Story is a 3D animation that most children or even adults fond to. Not only movies used computer animations and graphics, games on the latest game consoles like the PC, Play station and Nintendo 64 used the computers to make the coolest games ever. Of course all of you heard of the game Final Fantasy VII. It was the first Final Fantasy game to have a 3D environment and neat computer animation. That's how computers impacted today's entertainment.

As a conclusion, computer plays an important role in today’s world. It provides facilities for our life and also creates effective production. In this 21^st century, without the computers help, the world would be a dull and primitive. We succeed to produce a useful technology. Now it’s important to utilize the technology that we have.

Though is not a prefect essay, but i think i can help her in getting a higher mark by arranging the points organizationally with thesis statement n supporting details...!!!! best of luck to her...

song!

Song is always the best thing for me… I love to sing and dance… No doubt, this week lesson is so interesting and I love it much. As usual, we were asked to sit in our group and start to come out with a lesson plan using song as our set induction. After struggle several song and several poem, at last, we decided to use back our old lesson plan. My group chooses to use. The necklace and the song “Love Story” by Taylor Swift to teach the plot since the whole song is about a love story of adolescence. By the way, we really enjoy our presentation part on Thursday. This is like a MTV session where song and lyric are given and we can sing along with them. By the way, as we are using the same song with others people’s group, we doesn’t mean to do so. But, it come coincidentally, and because we presented on the last few groups, people like not satisfy with it. This makes me sad! Everything is just so coincident! Our activity, I feel is great. As students to watch the MV and after that, a word sheet is given and they were asked to sequence the event chronologically. Then, after they have finished doing the pre- reading, a while reading activity will be carried out. The same thing they need to do, the entire story pictures are provided and they are asked to match the storyline with the picture. The pictures are all colored and thanks to Yin Chean and Sapphire for helping me out in doing this when we were doing PPBK last few semester. It was awesome pictures. At last, I think our activity is related to our song and I think if this activity is carry out in class, students will love it.

jiwsaw reading

I did have a great time in today’s class. 6 October2009. Miss Dzeelfa gives us the marks of our course. It shocked me when I got to know that our project paper actually contain 40% of 100%. That is why it makes this paper make us so tired. We need to do so discussion with our lecturer and write a few drafts before we hand up our paper. Today I look at Martin Luther King, he is so noble. He speaks in front of 200, 000, 00 peoples telling them he has a dream. I have a dream… It was so great. I admire him. Then, we are assigned to go into our group, and distribute few pieces of papers and from the alphabet of the paper; we need to go into our expert group. By the way, this is a jigsaw reading and we were divided into our expert group and discuss about what is the content of the paper. After that, we were asked to join back our previous group as we need to tell the story in our paper to our group members chronologically one by one by our group members. Miss Dzeelfa has write some questions on the board to guide us to the flow of the story. It was a great lesson as I enjoyed it much. I love to listen to story and I love to tell story. In my opinion, I think this is a very good activity as students will be interested in it at the same time they have the chance to speak and to listen to their friends. Each and every one of them can share their opinion in the discussion and I think is fun. Besides that, it really encourage me to read and tell the story when it is my turn to speak. I love ‘The Ballot or the Bullet’. It is interesting. The white always make their false hope and I think is time for the black to stand…

Presentation- Speech

1st October 4, 2009. Today is our presentation day. We had assigned to do find our speech written by those politician and present in front of the class. No doubt, everyone has done a great job. But, in my opinion, due to some of the group didn’t do their work in power point, they just read from the text, I feel like this is a boring presentation. I don’t know what their talking about. Besides that, I admit that I seldom read about politic. I don’t know who is Indera Ghani. I feel like this is a great opportunity for me to look into the weakness of myself and start to read about more and more about politic. Although is boring, but, it is good for us to know that happen in this world. Thanks to the entire presenter that do. I think I do learn something.

Presentation- Speech

1st October 4, 2009. Today is our presentation day. We had assigned to do find our speech written by those politician and present in front of the class. No doubt, everyone has done a great job. But, in my opinion, due to some of the group didn’t do their work in power point, they just read from the text, I feel like this is a boring presentation. I don’t know what their talking about. Besides that, I admit that I seldom read about politic. I don’t know who is Indera Ghani. I feel like this is a great opportunity for me to look into the weakness of myself and start to read about more and more about politic. Although is boring, but, it is good for us to know that happen in this world. Thanks to the entire presenter that do. I think I do learn something.

Indiara Ghani

Just after my Raya break and I suppose should have my holiday nicely oversea. But then, I really didn’t aboard the plane since I had a terrible ill body when holidays arrive. This holiday, I spend my holiday nicely lying in my house, eating medicine, watch movie. That is a kind of enjoyment as well. Raya break over! Here come to our assignment again. Today, 29 September, we are working on the lesson of Speeches. American rhetoric speeches are art of persuasive through speaking and writing.
Speeches can be used as a teaching aid. Like what Miss Dzeefa say, the audio recording of political speech can be listen by students and through listening, the key message can also be the lesson of the class. Students also can use the text to highlight the speaker point of view and the speaker’s style effect the messages. These lessons can benefit the students. Students can expose to politic and history and at same time understand issues champion by the speaker. However, in my opinion, I think that speech is rather more difficult to teach than a usual text because speeches involve emotion and tone. Sometimes you may misunderstand the meaning of the text and miss interpret the meaning of the text. We are assigning to find the purpose, the main point, and the writer personal points of view in the passage. Luckily we get the speech: what educated woman can do by Indira Gandhi. I was assigned to do the main point of the speech.

Theater again

Today is our big day. After a small introduction of the parody by Miss Dzeelfa, all of our groups start to perform their parody. All of my classmates are so creative. They really have made a good attempt in designing a great story. I like the story act by Racheal’s group: Beauty and the Beast. It is nice and fun. Jolyne’s group also has made a good plot. They do it in a scary movie way. They fit in 3 tales to make it one. The Thumbelina from Simo’s group put in a lot of laughing stock in their story. Others group also make a very good performance. I really enjoy it. Sweet and nice.